A year ago today, I almost dropped out of college.
Not permanently, but temporarily, to find out what my passion was, what I wanted to major in and where I wanted my life to go. I had barely survived organic chemistry II – I still don’t know how I passed that class but thank Jesus I did. This same semester, I was taking other hard sciences that left me doubting whether I wanted to continue a pre-medical path. I remember going to the chapel bell and the fountain with my friends after our last final, and filling the fountain with my tears – tears of joy because I was done with the hardest semester of my life, but also tears of insecurity. In that moment, I realized I was going through what I like to call “a quarter life crisis.”
That summer, I made a promise to myself to find my passions – as dramatic as it sounds, I wanted to find my purpose in life so that I could hit the ground running come fall semester 2016. However, it took longer – and was tougher – than I had originally anticipated. That summer I came to the conclusion that I definitely wanted to pursue medicine and healthcare, but had still not narrowed down how.
Come fall 2016, I was still a biology major in the Franklin College of Arts & Sciences – arguably one of the things I liked least about my major – and still didn’t feel like I had found my place in college. I recognize that there are many students who view college as a “stepping stone” to the rest of their life: they justifiably want to get in and get out with as little time and trouble as possible. But I wanted to go through the trouble of finding a major I loved, of meeting a professor who would look out for me, and of discovering a passion for my career. Throughout the fall, I kept telling myself that everything was going to get better – but in the middle of the semester, I decided that something needed to change. This is what brought me to come to Dr. Davis’ office on a warm October afternoon.
I came to him on the verge of tears, attempting as hard as possible to act strong and put together, but in reality I was lost and needed guidance. Within an hour, he turned my college career around – and I was beaming! I remember leaving his office, feeling more secure, determined and rejuvenated than I had in a long time. Throughout the following months, he convinced me to sign up for this study abroad trip to Costa Rica. I was really concerned that I wouldn’t be able to go because of finances, but saw an opportunity of a lifetime. I still remember the joy I felt when Dr. Davis told me that I had been given enough scholarship money to attend a trip to Costa Rica through UGA’s CAES Avian Biology Program.
As someone who has lived in three continents, exploring a new country and learning a new culture was very appealing to me. Costa Rica, in all honestly, really took me by surprise. I was really nervous about the trip, as I do not like humidity, sweating or temperatures about 80 degrees. Not only this, but my mostly introverted personality was worried it would not branch out or make friends through the trip. I was definitely put out of my element in many ways, but my dad always said “that when you’re out of your comfort zone, that’s where there is the most growth.” Even through the fears and worries, I learned more about myself than I could imagine. Something that really spoke to me throughout the trip is how unique and amazing people are. I just spent 3 weeks getting to know 14 other UGA students, each with a unique background story and view of the world. I was able to become close friends with Kristen Lewers – something I am very thankful for! Our similar sense of humor and mutual love for black current Fanta and Nutella made us glued to the hip from day one. Not only did I get to bond with fellow UGA students, but I got to meet natives from Costa Rica, specifically the Maleku representative and Jack from Hacienda-Baru. The Maleku representative’s love for his culture and country was evident in his every word, and I loved seeing his joy in his work and his love for his community. It reminded me of how South African families live their lives on farms – which we also called familial communities – and he very much reminded me of my love for my home country, South Africa. Later on the trip, Jack’s lecture on his life journey really brought this trip full-circle to where I was a year ago. No one truly knows what their “destined” to do or what they will end up doing. Heck, I was born in South Africa and 6-year-old Annika never expected to end up in America – let alone find herself at an American university and attending a study abroad trip to Costa Rica! The Costa Ricans taught me that the world is filled with cultures, people, languages and experiences that will constantly surprise you and shape you. The biggest thing I will take from this trip is that life isn’t about an end goal. It really, truly is about the journey; about the memories you make, the people you meet along the way, and the copious amounts of chocolate you eat. Costa Rica has highlighted that, although I have lived in 3 continents, life isn’t done proving me wrong and showing me that there is so much more to learn and explore! That “quarter life crisis” I had wasn’t really a crisis, it was a stepping stone and a learning curve that shaped me into who I am today. The world is big and filled with so much to explore, we just need to be patient to see what it throws our way!
My favorite moment of the trip undoubtedly was waking up at San Gerardo (photo attached to the bottom of this blog). That previous night, Kristen and I were both cold and terrified of all the large amount of moths that had somehow made their way into our small room. I convinced her to share the bottom bunk with me, so that we could keep each other warm and protect one another from the bugs – or just suffer from them together. When we woke up at 5:00am, we both just laid there in awe at the gorgeous view of Arenal beyond our window. In that moment, i just felt a sense of peace and gratitude to have been given the chance of a lifetime.
Thinking back to my “quarter life crisis” of last year, I sit here now, a year later as I write this reflection, I appreciate how far I’ve come and appreciate Dr. Davis and the people I met on the trip for helping and guiding me along the way. This trip has brought me unforgettable memories and incredible friendships that made this experience truly one that I will not soon forget.
To finish off this special trip, as the locals say in Costa Rica: Costa Rica, Pura Vida!
